I also LOVE chocolate!  I realize this is not related, but it is now!  Since Atticus is a name that is used in my favorite book, I’ve decided to give away a chocolate bar to the first person to type in the name of that book in the comment box below.  Then I will mail out this yummy chocolate bar to you!  (There are peanut’s in this, I’m sorry if you are allergic.  Next time I’ll make it nut free!)

Now onto the photos!

If you would like to view more photos, you can see them here.

I get nervous.

My palms get sweaty, I say “cool” a lot and as my husband recently noticed, I have a tendency to slam my hand down onto the table or whatever surface is in front of me, when I am simply trying to point at something on a sheet of paper or clarify something that is being discussed.  I had no idea I did this!  Now, of course Tim and I do this consciously when we are talking to each other because we think it is really funny.  Yep, it doesn’t take much to entertain us!

Don’t worry though, because I’m also a total control freak!  So if you’ve hired me for your wedding day, or are considering me as your wedding photographer, once I’m on the job, I’m totally in control, the nerves are gone and I am ready to create beautiful photos!  It’s what I do best!

But, when I first meet people, I get really nervous.  I want to please everyone.

I blame it on the fact that I was raised a Lutheran, born in Minnesota with a Swedish heritage and went to art school.  Nowhere in this sentence is there any suggestion of a strong, confident woman!  I’m sure Garrison Keillor can confirm this if you feel like arguing.

I feel like I was a fairly confident child, sheltered, but confident.

Here is my 6th grade photo:

As you can see, I had amazing style even back then! ;)  Actually, I remember being very confident about this outfit, my sweater vest, my pink/purple glasses, bad perm, braces, slinky earrings and chin zits.  If I had desired one more element of geekness, I’m sure it would have been denied because I already had them all!  But I loved it!

Unfortunately, others didn’t think I was the coolest cat in town.  Soon after this photo was taken, life moved on and other factors came into play.   Some kids treated me the way that some kids still treat others when they want to feel better about themselves.

I will spare you the painful details, I’m not writing this for sympathy, I’m just writing this because it is time.

I feel that this was really where photography stepped into my life and helped me express my artistic self without me having to say a word.  Discovering my dad’s camera was like finding a hidden treasure.

Long story short, things happened in my life that made me question my validity.  These “things” also made me stronger, not right away, but eventually.  They made me who I am and I am proud of that.   There is still, however, a part of me that wants to protect that little innocent girl inside of me and keep her safe and hold her close to me.  Hence, I get nervous.

It’s hard to let things like this go.

The older I get, the easier it is of course for me to move on and appreciate my younger (and older) self.  I’m going to be 37 this month.  Crumbs!  I can’t believe I just admitted to that!  It’s okay though because I still look like I’m 12… right?  Okay, maybe not 12, that’s kind of weird, but, I look… younger… Anyway, the fact is that these “things” happened over 20 years ago.  That’s a long time to hold onto something.  That’s a long time to be affected by something.  I’m ready to let go… to let her go.

I understand, however, that in letting my old self go, I am only allowing her to blossom into the beautiful human being that she, I, am.

Be sure to give yourself a little love now and then.  :)

Just about as far back as I can remember, I was always carrying around my camera with me.  It’s the one thing that has always stuck with me.  I took dance, piano, flute, choir, theater.  Those would always be pushed aside for Photography.  I still love to dance, but in a less formal style, it involves a  lot of head shaking and arm flailing!  I just loved taking photos.  On family trips, in nature, of my barbie dolls (I can’t find those right now, so be thankful I’m not going to torture you with those) of my friends, of my brother…(I hope he doesn’t get mad about me showing some of these photos!  He’s a really great guy and a great father to his two adorable children.  But for those of you who have siblings, you understand that you make use of what you have!)  I was the family photographer and I still am.

My first camera looked something like this, but I remember mine having a red button.  I also had a red camera at one point similar to this one:

I would make my brother pose for me.  He was always very willing, and I don’t even think I gave him anything!  He is 3 years younger than me.  He looks about 5 or 6 in these photos so I must have been 8 or 9.

He was quite the ham!

And when I asked him to dress up as a girl, he did so without hesitation!  Andy is probably glad that the exposure is so horrible on this one!

I also made friends pose for me.

I love how there is no focus on those old point and shoot cameras!

My mom on the phone…

My dad and my step mom in conflict pose…

I think in 5th grade I started bringing my camera to school on the last day and took photos of everyone.

I continued to dress my brother up and I also included my cousins on this one.

For some reason I enjoyed dressing people as the opposite sex.

My brother is really good at this!  We were also in Saskatchewan Canada at this time and I think we were really bored!

I continued to take my camera to the last day of school, but people were less willing to have their photos taken the older they got.  I took them anyway…

Finally I got to take a photography class in high-school!  And I graduated to my Dad’s old camera.  A Canon AE-1, It looked like this:

I think my classes started in 10th or 11th grade.  I was obsessed!  I loved taking photos and now I even got to make my own prints in the darkroom!  It was definitely my favorite class and it’s probably what got me through High-School.  Thank you Mr. Sulack!  Once again I made my friends model for me.  I have no idea what my thoughts were behind this photo, but I found it to be really funny!

My brother, once again, in a double exposure.  He wouldn’t dress as a girl for me anymore.  I just don’t understand!

And here it is!  The photo that I took where I knew that this was what I wanted to do.  That photography was my passion and I Was A Photographer!  I love this photo!  It might not look like much, but I was in 11th or 12th grade when I took this and I was really proud of it.  I think I did a really good job of working with the lines to guide your eyes through the image and waiting for that person under the bridge to be in the right place to snap the photo.

I also got an A on it, as you can see!  It’s upside down.  :)

So, I guess sometimes it is a good thing to go through those boxes in your parents basement that are collecting dust and covered in dead potato bugs!

I continued to pursue photography in college.  I received my BFA in photography from MCAD and my MFA in photography from Cranbrook Academy of Art.  Maybe I will delve into those photos in another post.  And now, here I am, actually doing something I went to school for!  Don’t give up on your dreams!

Kristen and Louie won and had their wedding in May.  After many emails back and forth and one or the other being too busy to get back to one or the other, I have their album!  Here are a few pages from it.

Congrats Kristen and Louie!  I can’t wait to mail this out to you!

It really hit home, so I wanted to share it:

“We are born with only one obligation—to be completely who we are. Yet how much of our time is spent comparing ourselves to others, dead and alive? This is encouraged as necessary in the pursuit of excellence. Yet a flower in its excellence does not yearn to be a fish, and a fish in its unmanaged elegance does not long to be a tiger. But we humans find ourselves always falling into the dream of another life. Or we secretly aspire to the fortune or fame of people we don’t really know. When feeling badly about ourselves, we often try on other skins rather than understand and care for our own.

Yet when we compare ourselves to others, we see neither ourselves nor those we look up to. We only experience the tension of comparing, as if there is only one ounce of being to feed all our hungers. But the Universe reveals its abundance most clearly when we can be who we are. Mysteriously, every weed and ant and wounded rabbit, every living creature has its unique anatomy of being which, when given over to, is more than enough.

Being human, though, we are often troubled and blocked by insecurity, that windedness of heart that makes us feel unworthy. And when winded and troubled, we sometimes feel compelled to puff ourselves up. For in our pain, it seems to make sense that if were larger, we would be further from our pain. If we were larger, we would be harder to miss. If we were larger, we’d have a better chance of being loved. Then, not surprisingly, others need to be made smaller so we can maintain our illusion of seeming bigger than our pain.

Of course, history is the humbling story of our misbegotten inflations, and truth is the corrective story of how we return to exactly who we are. And compassion, sweet compassion, is the never-ending story of how we embrace each other and forgive ourselves for not accepting our beautifully particular place in the fabric of all there is.”

I love the intimacy that I’m able to capture in the “Getting Ready” photos.  People are always surprised when they see the images I shot while they were frantically rushing around, sometimes forgetting that I’m there.

Weddings would not be possible without the two main people that are getting married!  I love the lighting in both of these.  The top one was shot just as the sun was setting, creating the soft light that most photographers cannot resist.

The photo below was a recreation of a photo from the brides parents wedding album.  This created an extra special moment.

I love being able to capture all of the different emotions experienced during a wedding day.  I usually see just about all of them!  The photo below makes me feel so cozy!

The photo above was shot by my husband Tim.  He joins occasionally as my second photographer.  He is really great at catching candid moments like these!

I love how the shot above really shows all of the excitement and interactions going on with all of the people involved.  And how the brides face just makes it into the image, as if the groom is pulling her into the photo.

I shot my first (in about 5 years) High School Senior photo session in 2011!  This was so much fun, I am really looking forward to doing more!  I realize that technically there are two photos here.  I initially was only going to include the masked shot because it is so fun and quirky, but I thought, since I’m showing a Senior Session I should include an actual face shot!

Beauty.  Beauty is one of the most important aspects of weddings.  I am continuously attracted to all things beautiful.  This is why I love weddings so much!  I feel so lucky to be able to see beauty in so many different things and in so many different ways and that’s what makes photography so exciting for me!

MNBride.com

Washingtonian.com

Ruffled Blog

MNBride.com

Minnesota Bride, Tiffany Bolk Photography

A Northwoods Wedding Blog

MNBride.com

I’d also like to Thank The Gale Mansion for using my photos in their ad in the Minneapolis/St. Paul Magazine!

Thank You!  I’m looking forward to more Greatness in the year 2012!